It has been almost two months since I have written. How can I be too busy to sit and speak or be still? Sometimes we are swept away by things that seem so important that we can’t take ourselves away for even a moment, to sit and think, to let life seep in, to feel what we are experiencing.
I left my job, I went through a whirlwind of emotions…. I left there and felt freed, but still scared out of my wits. Making loads of money and then loosing it is a weird place. It’s an interesting shift in perspective. One we should all experience from time to time. I think I wrote about that already.
I am opening a gallery and studio in an old mill building which has a wonderful spirit. There is something comforting there - I wish I knew her, him, them - the ones who inhabited earlier. They left their energy. I keep joking about how silly it is that I am opening a gallery in a place where no one will come. Then I think, maybe I needed to come first. So I am here. My works are still strewn about in my home studio, waiting to be taken. I’ve painted the walls in blue – definitely NOT my color, but I guess it is now, because there they are. they startle me when I walk in. In the next few days the art will start to move in and we will see what happens to the room. I don’t really care – I mean, I care, but it is not as though I am hoping for a particular outcome. However it comes to be, or doesn’t, is fine with me. that, is what I am trying to say.
And my friends, my friends, who have been there with me along the way-building walls, painting, hauling, planning, shopping. Life can’t be anything but good when you look in a room and see more than a handful of people, just being there for you. It fills up my chest with good air to breath and overflows my eyes.
I have been busy every minute of every day since I left my “job”. Busy like a lunatic but I cannot tell you what I have accomplished. It’s all blurred into one, and the remainder of the list is intenible to me. how will this all be managed? And then again, the point might be to stop trying to manage anything. Let my life form itself.
Sounds like a good idea.